Tuesday, July 25, 2006

On an exciting journey called 'Job Hunt' ... part - I

I still remember those very hesitant footsteps of mine with which I had stepped in to my college, B.I.E.T, a fascinating world they call ENGINEERING. It had brought in me feeling of 'grown-up', bcoz I hardly had oppurtunities to freak out with my friends, late in the evenings and do all those typical activites a guy otherwise in any metro would get to do, during my pre-univeristy days. As is the case with many who manage (even out of blissful ignorance) to score off well, in the pre-university and in the entrance exams, I was naturally shouldering huge expectations from my family and piled up speculations from my family, friends and realtives on how my engineering career graph would look like.

I was not to sit back and relax after what I can presumably call a comendable pre-univeristy track record (along with my CET).Things had just begun to unravel and a new world had been waiting for me out there. It was all very new to me here in engineering.A new place and that I needed to build it all right from scrap. Guys no matter how glorious ur past academic profile may be, u need to put ur head down and study, or else u r bound to get screwed up. U can have my word on this.

A lot of my peers had managed to do pretty well in engineering, so that naturally had fuelled me with a strong desire to do something, something really comendable. I don't know exaclty when or what is it that triggered my mind to fancy myself getting placed in a good company.(It was probably in my 2nd year of engineering, I had managed to get a closer feel of all this campus stuff) It certainly didn't mean that I had totally set myself aloof from these kind of stuffs, it was just that my knowledge regarding them was pretty superficial.But certainly there was a burning desire and a strong belief in myself that I would definitely succeed in my endeavour.

I must mention here that, by now I had become an active member of our EC forum.It had succesfully provided me with ample oppurtunities to enhance my soft skills aswell as my technical skills. Besides this, I also had the privilege to attend several programs on personality development. U know I just was in no mood to take chances with regards to my preps for campus. We also had self initated mock GDs & interview sessions after class hours.

February 2006,my vacations, after my 5th sem exams.Time was really closing in and I had to intensify my campus preps. But what was happening was just the opposite, I just seemed to loose control and I had to some how remain focussed. By this time I had realized I really had to enhance my aptitude abilites, just in case I could fancy any chance of me, smelling even a remote success in the campus recruitment drives, that were to start later on in May 2006.Well I forgot to tell u, I also was in to a small hobby project with two of my EC friends. We somehow managed to complete it. Thank god it worked.

March - April 2006, I was in my 6th sem. I tell you what, i dunno what happens to students when they enter this sem, they seem to do all kinds of weird things in this world.(even i had done something like ... ok lets not get deep in to that).U know people who seem to have never ever missed a class all throughout their enginering career suddenly become regularly irregular. They also do those freaky things like get back in to one of those last benches and start solving one of those shakuntala devi's puzzles or RS agarwal or whatever...(that includes me at times). While only a few real nerds still remained to be suprisingly obidient and regular.

The big day finally arrived, may 8th,2006, I took the written test of Mind Tree, alongside 300+ students from BIET & BDT, at BDT college davangere.There were people from PAC (personal aptitude council) who conducted the written test on behalf of mindtree. I had given my best shot at it. But I personally fancied bleak chances of success.Nevetheless, I was hoping for the best.

12th may, 2006: We were eagerly waiting for taking the written test of another IT company TCS. As many of u are aware, they conduct written test online.They arrived by a good 4+ hrs late than scheduled time. After listening to an exhaustive ppt, I took the online test with around 250 students. Throughout the test I had answered pretty well except the critical reasoning (phew some of them were just overhead). But the worst awaited me in the form of the result. I just managed to end my self with something like "Sorry u haven't cleared the test, better luck ...blah blah blah blah... whatever". For a split second I sat there staring at the monitor in utter disbelief. Yes ur right i had screwed it up royally... I had let go a "golden" chance begging.

The rest of it is a bitter memory, which I found it almost impossible to digest.For the first time after a long time I had a bitter rendezvous with 'failure'. (that's what I felt at that point in time.) How much I cursed myself that day, for having made a mess of it. It seemed that the world around me was mocking at me, an air of inferiority had engulfed me and it seemed to extend mercilesly to eternity.The world to me seemed to have come to a stand still. I still remember my journey back home (a good 45+ minutes to my place) from my college. Boy! how awful it was. I was seemingly trying not force myself in to depression, a state of agony seemed to hover over my mind eternally. All sorts of bad and frightful thoughts passed through my mind .. But thats not what mind 'wept' for, it was certainly something different, what was it ??? I guess i had begun to feel I had lost it hopelessly and disgarcefully this time without even a slightest effort to show some resistance... and above all I hated to say this when I reached back home , "Dad I messed it up, sorry.." Even though I was fully aware that every day was not ur day, it was getting really tough for me be pragmatic, probably the results a bit too much for me to digest.

May 13, 2006: I attended the classes next day. No matter how hard I tried conceal my feelings and tried to look & sound normal... I was failing pathetically.U know thats when u put up one those hopeless sheepish smiles to mask off the ignominy ( I don't know if its the word to best describe my feelings at that point of time..).I tried a zillion times to reassure myself everyting was ok.. but u could tell outright looking at me, all was not OK. Days really seemed to drag longer than ususal or atleast seemed to me like that they did.

may 14 - may 15, 2006 : (till 2:30 P.M.) Now i was in to a new 'wait state', yes I was awaiting for the results of my written test of MindTree... I dunno why suddenly i had remotely begun to sense it as my rescuer. Probably I wanted something postive in life badly... Yes I needed it badly... very badly.

What happened to my results?? Did I manage to make the most of what destiny (to an extent my efforts) had offered ?? Was it to turn out in to my dream destination ?? Everything was pretty evenly poised.

I will leave it here, as I describe the rest of my journey in my next article.


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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

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