Saturday, March 17, 2007

Trying to break free....

The 'ceremony' ended finally on friday, with the 'finals' not goin too well. I don't know if I was ready for this. But one thing is for sure, something has changed in me and ppl around me. Thats exactly what motivated me write about it. I was utterly under prepared, more because I wasn't simply ready for it. For the first time I am not sheltering any feeling of guilt or regret, of not having prepared to take up the internals and performing well.

Off late I see that my priorities seem to have changed in life. I am no more a person who is pre-occupied with the text books, nor do I feel like attending those boring lectures. The lectures these days seem so longish and unbearable. My mind has begun to show some sure signs of saturation and the regular academics stuff no more really turns me on. I no more feel it's a big deal to lose a class and repent for having missed a hell lot of info. My niche though has remained to be the same as it was in the prev sem. I still feel it's a safe place to be there and enjoy the bird's eye view of the class. I dunno if am acting overboard.

I know it's not the problem with only me. It's the same problem with many of my classmates as well. I feel that they too are experiencing the strangle hold of profis, and the lectures are getting really intolerable or atleast they think that way. A new culture (a dangerous one in the long run), has crept in to the minds of all my class mates. It's about scoring high on the 'Coolness Scale'. The more disorganized u are, the more irregular u are to the classes, the more lightly u take ur studies, the more pranks u play in the class, the more 'care-free' u are, greater is ur 'Coolness Index'. I feel it's more of an unsuccessful effort to break free, to re-instill the lost faith of being an indepedent soul in the campus!!!

I know it's all fancy and sounds pretty stylish, but it's not gonna sustain for long. It's ephemeral and soon the bubble of myth is gonna burst. The days are not far when we will be paying very dearly for all this. I dunno if I am vicitimized by this detremental attitudinal make-over. Sooner or later we would realize that all this is not gonna work! I just hope the awakening doesn't get too late...

PS: Having spoken of such an attitudinal shift amongst my fellas here, I dunno if it's the case with many of the other final year folks @ various engineering colleges in VTU. Is it ubiquitous?

~IT's My Life

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