Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Keep it simple!

I strongly believe that a relationship can bear all the hardships only if there is a TRUST factor involved in it. I have a lot of my friends, with whom I communicate very frankly and try to be as candid in my responses, and as straightforward in my affairs as possible. I like to keep things simple! I firmly believe that you should either operate in WHITE or BLACK shades but never in the GREY shades. Once you promise to shoulder a responsibility, you should go about achieving the same in a manner that involves transparency of the highest degree. It really pisses me off when people conceal the truth from me, on occasions where they might have failed to do something they had promised to finish on time. On such occasions, all I expect from them is a simple truth about what really happened. I don’t wan to see them bluff. All I expect from them is something like, “Look! I couldn’t do it on time because I had such and such a commitment…” Trust me; this is the best thing to do. For god’s sake, stop beating around the bush and bluffing. By doing so you might ward off an immediate headache of being accountable. But in the long run, when the truth comes out, you will have to face a bigger ignominy.

I some times wonder why people can’t speak out openly about things. Is it a crime to say NO? Why do they take up a task when they know in advance that can’t complete it? Is it because they have this fear of being tagged as INCOMPETENT? Is it because they want to IMPRESS someone? Is it because they are under the impression that the other party might FEEL BAD or OFFENDED, if they turn down the offer to shoulder a responsibility? Is it because they fear the consequences of being tagged as some one who is a point-blank?

Well… let me tell you something. If you answer to the above questions in affirmative, I can bet that you will never ever be able to do what you actually wanted to do in life. You will always be haunted by the guilt of having wasted your precious time in appeasing someone. Please don’t complicate issues with anyone. If you can’t do something, (may be on time) please for god’s sake speak the truth!! Avoid making false promises. You might find it tough in the beginning, but I am sure that you will
soon begin to appreciate it . Try to imagine yourself in the shoes of the other party. What if someone promises you something and ditches you in the Nth moment? Would you expect some blah blah stuff from him? I’m sure that you too will be hurt to the core and develop a feeling of disrespect towards him. On such occasions you too expect him to speak nothing, but the NAKED TRUTH!!

I have constantly been disgusted by the behavior of someone in my friend’s circle. I have been wondering why that person does this each time. I mean, when you take the responsibility to complete some task, you got to take the responsibility to finish it on time, unless something unprecedented occurs. You cannot behave so irresponsibly and take things and people for granted! It might work with someone whom you know, but not when you enter your work place. Trust me; this is what pisses people off, the most at a work place!! You cannot take away the ACCOUNTABILITY factor from your character. People ask you to do a task, only when they trust you. It becomes your responsibility to finish that task, no matter what and thus retain your credibility and trust. If you aren’t willing to shoulder the given responsibility, say it on their face, flat and square, “Look! I can’t do this. Ok!!” This would at least ensure that you don’t make false promises and later deviate from your own words.

The behavior of my friend reminds me of the story of a cow boy, who used to call for help unnecessarily, even when he faced no threat. When the villagers would come to his rescue, he would make fun of them, and feel proud about how he had managed to fool them. But one fine day, when he was in really trouble and begged for their help, no one turned up. All the villagers thought that he was playing the same prank on them again. Because of his previous conducts, he had to lose his life. People had lost FAITH in him. The TRUST factor in him was missing!!

I have spoken to my friend in this regard on innumerable occasions. But that person simply doesn’t seem to take my words in the right spirit! As a good friend of yours, I sincerely request you mend your ways! Even if this means that you will start to avoid me from here on. I simply don’t care! All I need is to make you realize that it hurts someone pretty badly when you break your words, not on account of some genuine reason, but on grounds of falsity. If you think that people would never get to know what the truth is, I can bet that there is no bigger a mistake you can commit in life than that! Stop being someone you are not!! It’s not a crime to be the way you are in reality! Why do you project yourself as someone you not? People might not speak ill about you when you are there, but they will certainly make fun of you and ridicule you behind your back. I’m sure you wouldn’t want to push yourself in to such a situation. Would you?

Abh Main yeh sab kyu keh raha hu? Tumne aaj TRUST ki baat ko cheda, to mujhe yeh sab kehna pad raha hai!! Being a good friend of yours, I felt that I should speak the truth about what I felt about your ways of dealing with people (that’s how you have behaved with me), rather than putting up a face of false comfort, where everything seems ok! Please drop that chalta hai attitude of yours!!

Remember that you can fool someone all the time; you can fool everyone some time; but you cannot fool everyone every time. They say that it is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not! Please keep it simple!! I wish you great success in you career!!

~IT's My Life

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7 comments:

Ankit Gupta said...

man absolutely right!!
in such situations go towards ur heart n not mind ;)
cheers
ANkIT

Beautiful Mind said...

Hope the message is conveyed and taken in right spirit. If everyone can learn to draw a neat line, it should be fine..

Thanks for visiting my blog..

Vidya said...

Hmm...Suresh, I am going to give you unsolicited advise and please do not mistake me for doing so.

You are right in your frustration.You are right in wanting to be truthful. You are right about the trust factor. However, what you want to bear in mind that nobody can change anybody. It has to come by itself. You are already so self-aware and mature. You may want to bear this in mind so that you are not frustrated over things like this in the future.

Because believe me my friend, you will find a lot more who would be untruthful for any number of reasons than be truthful..

Vidya

Suresh S said...

@ Ankit

I'm puzzled!

@ beautiful mind

I just hope the world were a more simpler one, with simple people and simple thought process!! You are most welcome:) Keep blogging!!

@ Vidya,
I take ur words in the truest spirits! What ever u have told, I'm sure are the words spoken out of ur own personal experiences! I am yet to get used to this kinda stuff! May be it is time for me to stop getting frustrated over such trivial issues! But Vidya, I still wonder why people behave that way!!

Ashish said...

I truly agree with you Suresh. At present I am undergoing same condition.

Hope that people understand the importance of truth in the relationship.

Suresh S said...

@ Ashish,

I only wish that you see through this distasteful phase of your life at the earliest. I only have begun to look at these kinda stuff as great learning experiences. Try to take the positive aspects out of the whole issue. I'm sure you will be able to avoid such kinda situations in ur life in the future. Good Luck!

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