Screwed-up or Whatever…

MIBs have squandered a golden chance. Haven't they?

Note: The author has feverishly exercised his freedom of thought and expression and also lavishly badmouthed the truly deserving! If you don’t wanna accept that MIBs don’t deserve this, then quit right now! Else you are free to read. The article uses a few 'strong' words in english, which might require reader discretion. Read this post at your own risk. If u happen to be of my genere, F**K them all and simply keep reading, coz who the hell cares!!!

This happens to be my first post on world cup cricket 2007. What an irony? I am jotting about their sucking story and how they screwed themselves up badly. Before I verbally punish those kayar MIBS (Men in Blue), I would like to share with you, an incident that happened on Tuesday. Our college fest Davana '07 is scheduled on 5th, 6th and 7th of April. We had the selections scheduled for debate on Tuesday (20th march). India was in the hangover of a so called ‘Emphatic cum Brilliant cum Comprehensive’ victory over Bermuda. I wondered if these Bermudians knew how to play cricket? Anyways, the topic for debate was, 'India will win cricket world cup 2007'. From the very moment I had received that topic, I had decided that I would never ever endorse the motion!!! So on the: D day, I was found blandishing the ' sacred talents' of ‘MIBs’ (needless to says, it was utterly sarcastic). I spoke my heart out, and concluded saying, 'I wish that India wins this world cup, but with the kind of performance they have managed to put up, I am supremely confident that it will never happen!' I think I needed no preps for doing such an act, as I spoke purely out of intuition. I think I badly Fucked up for doing that, coz I had done pretty well in the previous VTU fest's debate contest. I heard from a friend of mine the judges felt that it was suchha crap performance. I told my friend to check if they referred to the MIB’s performance or mine? Anywayz I was in no mood to speak that day and I was under prepared, and I forcefully dragged myself on to the stage and spilt out all the venom!

These fuckin MIBs found pretty little time to sparkle in the sport, than they found to endorse some suckin (fertilizer) cool drink ad. I had made this very point and stressed more on this in the debate! I feel that the team severely lacked the very basic 'Killer instinct', which is required for any winning team. If not for some sledging, I would say, Aussies are an extremely good and I would bank my money on them! They got all that’s needed for a team to win. These MIBs seem so suckingly tigerish on paper and when they are on field, they are minnows. Khair chodo yaar, ab bol ke kya faida! Saale besharam kabi sudhar ne wale nahin hain.

In this god-for-saken cricket team of India, I don't see anyone standing up to the expectations of the public! Fuck this whole blue billion campaign from some fuckin MNC called Pepsi (peee!). They were pretty successful in enchasing billions of rupees through their ad. Now don’t tell me Indra Nooyi and Priyanka chopra and not to forget a bunch of MIBs made some fuckin money out of this whole campaign!!! Everyone knows it.

After the match against Bangladeshis, MIBs stood on the field flabbergasted. (After yesterday’s game against Sri Lanka, their faces looked like a deflated balloon). Damn it! It’s no issue of pride ha, to score a mammothian total against some Bermuda (I heard many of them are better off this sucking game). I mean, I had never heard of this team before. What an illusionary innings was it? Wah sehwag! Maaan gaye bheedu. Khela to khela, kis team pe yaar! Now believe me, he will never be doubted of his talent until the dawn of the next monsoon in Karnataka or even Tamil Nadu!!!

Now what’s going to happen after this bubble burst of expectation or rather a shameless act of fart by these MIBs?

1. Aaj Tak, Zee news, Times Now and all other channels, will at least not show MIBs playing this game, they hardly remember, called Cricket!!! There is going to be no sucking interviews with Sewage* or Dhoni or even with the Yuvraj. Having talked of Yuvi, I think he will best suit for the job of a chef, in some Caribbean restaurant trying his hand at some makhan malai or aaalu parota!

2. Some fuckin protesters are gonna be on the streets and some banners and cutouts of chapel and Dravid being burnt-out. Some mobs shown as die hard fans of this silly game who still don’t realize that it hardly make a shit of a difference for those MIBs, whether they win or lose!

3. The same old crappish Dravid shows up (poor chap) and utters some blah blah and explains why they got fucked up! (Everyone knows it D, u don’t need to explain).

4. People turn on Sony Max or some crap channel that broadcasts this ‘extra innings’ to enrich their knowledge on the latest jewellery in the market flaunted by Mandria Bedi. Some are more interested in other details of her’s as well :)

5. Last but not the least; I see no more of these fuckin MIBs on the field. Thank god you people saved a lot of power back home. That’s one good thing u people have doin to all of us. God Bless!!!

6. Ok, this is the last one ha. Just verify where these ppl are gonna land ha, I mean in which airport? I heard they had plans to disclose some place, and actually land elsewhere, just to save their faces and avoiding any ‘garlanding’.

PS: Now don’t mail me askin from where the fuck did I find these predictions ha! It’s an open secret.

1. In 1982 Italy won the soccer world cup and 1 year later India won the same in cricket! In 2006 Italy did it again and so in 2007…

2. In 1981 pope died (or rather shot) and 2 years later India won the WC and in 2005 pope died and so in 2007…

Whatever is the ultimate result, even if Bermuda happens to beat Bangladesh, I ask these MIBs, WTF does it mean? Does your entry in to super 8 needs to be decided by some minnows? I dunno if I would ever post anything in the near future on the WC in my blog!!!

update: Harry pointed out this "error" to me... Its Sewage or Sehwag, it's one and the same. Both stink and SUCK!

~IT's My Life