Jaadu hain tera hi...

Niveditha returns to active blogging!! And guess what?? I happened to read her post on a tag that allured me to give it a try.

Here are the rules
1. Put your music player on Shuffle mode
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer
3. Write the song name no matter what
4. After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and let them know they’ve been tagged.

1. If someone says “Is this okay”, you say?
   Yuhi kat jayega safar saath chal ne se...
2. What would best describe your personality?
   Minchagi neenu baralu...
3. What do you like in a guy/girl?
   Behti nadi ka hain rukh yahan...
4. How do you feel today?
   Tanha tanha...
5. What is your life’s purpose?
   Suno suno...
6. What do your friends think of you?
   Main kahbi batlata nahin...
7. What do you think of your parents?
   Mera jahan... (TZP again!!!)
8. What do you think about very often?
   Koi lauta de mera beete hue din ... (I swear i miss them...)
9. What is 2+2?
   Jaane do naa... (Even Apple knows how good I am at Math!)
10. What do you think of your best friend?
    Adat... (I couldn't have agreed more on that!)
11. What do you think of the person you like?
    Main agar kahun... (Couldn't have gotten any more romantic than this...)
12. What is your life story?
    Mohabbatein lutaunga... (To my love:D)
13. What do you want to be when you grow up?
    Say na say na... (Nope.... I never told anything.. I just don't wanna grow up!!!)
14. What do you think of when you see the person you like?
    Gelathi gelathi...
15. What will you dance to at your wedding?
    Kya yahi pyaar hain... (An absolute treat.. old one though.. But would love to dance..)
16. What will they play at your funeral?
    kannathil mutthamittal... (It means a peck on the cheeks in tamil!! Gotta know who would love that act the most!!!)
17. What is your hobby/interest?
    Pehli nazar main kaisa jaadu...
18. What is your biggest secret?
    Dheere dheere se... (Ashiqui)
19. What do you think of your friends?
    Ichak dana bheecak dana... (Shree 420 - Can't draw any correlation... spare me on that..)
20. What should you post this as?
    Jaadu hain tera hi... (Ghulam)
21. What do you think about this tag?
    Jawani O Diwani... (Kishore da...)

P.S. I thoroughly enjoyed doing this tag! I dunno some of the answers I got seemed so convincing!!

~IT's My Life

I'm back!

As if you all really missed me :P

To those very special 12% voters of the poll 'How do you like this blog?', I actually heard you. That explains my 'unplanned outage of my blog services'. So much for my sense of humour!!

Actually my hardrive has developed a few bad sectors in areas which it shouldn't! That restricts my surfing to only those precious billable hours @ office:)

P.S. Doesn't my blog deserve its share of humour?

~IT's My Life

Chain emails and their consquences!

Have you broken the chain, ever?

Have you ever forwarded an email to someone simply because it read something in the end like, "If you forward this email to 10 people in 10 seconds, it will result in blah blah blah?"

I am sure you would have at least read them and shown them their 'true destinations' in you mail box!

I just happen to read this email that I got from friend of mine a few days back. Probably the poor soul seemed to have gotten pissed off with these kinda emails. Found it really amusing. Take a look.

I want to thank all my friends and other unknown people who have forwarded chain letters to me in 2001, 2002,2003, 2004 ,2005 ,2006, 2007 & now in 2008.

Because of your kindness:

• I stopped drinking Coca-Cola after I found out that it's good only for removing toilet stains.

• I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS

• I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.

• I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.

• I also stopped drinking water outside for fear that I will get sick from the rat shit and urine.

• When I go to parties, I don't look at any gal, no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take me to a hotel, drug me, then take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

• I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. (Poor girl! she's been 7 since 1993...)

• My free Nokia phone never arrived and neither did the free passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland.

• Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding those Dalai Lama, Ganesh Vandana, Tirupathi Balaji pics etc..
  

• Now most of those "Wishes" are already married (to someone else)!

• You can add your own notes based on your similar experience and send them to your friends.
  

• If ORKUT deletes my account, it doesn't matter BUT PLEASE DON'T SEND me "Orkut is deleting accounts: Due to sudden rush..." Otherwise I'll delete my E-Mail account!

IMPORTANT NOTE:

If you do not send this e-mail to at least 91376021341245402021324231152114 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will shit on your head today at 6:30 p.m.

This link might help!


~IT's My Life

To err on G-Talk!

First things first... I would like wish all my blog readers a very happy Ganesha chaturthi.

A few days back, I was on g-talk as usual, when one of my friend kiran logged in. I was busy chatting with some one else, so I hardly took any note of his entry. When I was about to log off, I checked the list of on-liners once again. One of the things that caught my attention was the online status message of my friend kiran! He had been retaining an ‘age old’ status of ‘egggjjjhaaam fever!!’ (I don’t remember the exact verbalization of the status. So please bear with this closest approximation.) Now the status against his name read, ‘A ray of hope’. I wondered what he was up to and what was that ‘Ray of Hope’ all about?

Given the fact that I surf internet on a dial up connection (which is pathetically slow) that costs me quite an amount, I usually don’t strike unwanted conversations and invite ‘trouble’. His new status drove me curious (and not to mention, provided the much needed inspiration for this post) and I couldn’t resist the temptation to chat with him. Little did I know, that this chat was gonna end up in a ‘comedy of errors’.

Since the original conversation was carried off the record on G-Talk, I don’t have a copy of that befuddling chat, verbatim. I am sharing with you an approximate, but close to the truth version of the same...

S: En le UV rays nan magane? What's up? How are u maga?
K: I’m fine le. What about you?
S: I’m fine Kano… Where are you staying in B’lore now?
K: In Basavesvara Nagar...
S: Where is it maga? I guess it’s close to BSK?
K: What’s that BSK?
S: Banashankari Le…
K: No man… Actually it’s quite far…
S: Hey! Will it not be problem for you to commute?
K: Illa le... The bus facility is nice maga… So no problem…
S: Ya we have cab to the company na… It should not be a problem to us…
K: Hmmm… ok…
S: Hey did you collect the appointment letter from the placement cell?
K: Le yaav appointment letter macchhaa?
S: Le… Invyaad iruttappa??? MindTree’s maga… Naav Invyaad collect madkollokke saadhya helu?
K: Oh… Wait… I think there is some confusion here…
S: Matte in en confusion Le??
K: Whom did u want to chat with?
S: Mamaa comedy beda… Tell me did you collect it from college or not??
K: I’m not the kiran you wanted to chat with… I’m his class mate… I hope you know me… Read my name fully…
A pause... I opened the link of his orkut profile to confirm if I had managed to figure him out finally... Yes! I can be quite a dumbo at times!!!
S: Oh shit! #$&%... Sorry Le... I thought you were 'that' Kiran...
K: Its ok le… Sorry yella Beda…
S: Trust me… This is supposed to be the most hilarious episode I have ever had… Trust me; I had no clue that you were not 'that' kiran maga…

The rest of the conversation was all about me trying to patch up the embarrassment I had caused. It went on and on for another 20 odd lines. But I couldn’t help myself from laughing boisterously. What a terrible confusion it was?

For you kindest information:
· S – Suresh S. a.k.a Suri, K- The other Kiran!
· Jargons like macchhaa, Maga, etc are a part and parcel of the local lingo and are used to refer to your near and dear ones, especially your sidekicks!

PS: Poor chap kept chatting with me all the while thinking that I had struck that conversation quite consciously. Ha Ha Ha… (Wicked smile...)

Okies. This is it…

PS (PS): A couple of days back I spoke with someone called Pavan for a whole 3:27 minutes without even having the slightest of a clue which Pavan was I speaking to? I know quite a few of them. After he finally axed the call, I was sure of one thing; both of us had really confused each other to the core!! Ha Ha Ha… (Wicked Laughter…)

Ok Ok... Time for some update!

The pic in 'About Me' section has finally been changed to a more sought-to-be-close-to-a-decent-one. Few of my well wishers(?) (for reasons best known to them) had threatened to file a PIL against me, for appearing on public platforms, with visual IDs that closely resembled the looks of traditional 'Dhakoos' and the likes... Shayad maine un logon ki shikayat door kar diya hai :)

~IT's My Life

Dumb and Dumber!!!

Have you ever wondered why people ask you some questions, when they know the answers to those questions themselves? I am sure every one of you would have faced these kinds of abashing situations. When you hear such questions, apka dil to karta tha hai ki samne wale ko zor sa ek thappad marke wahan se kalti marlo!!! Par kya kare dosto, yeh sharifo ka (na ki sheriffo ka) duniya hai. Sabh logo ko ‘accha aadmi/aurat’ kehelwane ka shauk jo padi hai!!! Kitna bhi gussa aaye, use 'niyantrit' karna padta hai. Sabse mushkil cheez yeh hoti hai ki, woh besharam aadmi/aurat jo aise stupid sawal poochta hai, woh hamare jaan pehchaan wale hi hote hain. Ek dharam sankat ki istithi paida ho jati hai. You gotta bear with it folks!!!

Par saala abh nahin bardaash hota yaar. Besharmi ki bhi koi had hoti hai. So all you uncle/aunties/dost-log, and all those uninvited baalus (and bhageeras) ... I write post this to express my deepest feelings of anguish and intolerance. May the almighty bestow you with the power to discern the line of demarcation between sanity and insanity!!! Don’t even think of asking me questions which are even remotely close to the following ones.

Scene 1: You are well dressed in your school uniform and rushing towards the school bus, near the bus stop in your colony (arey thoda life ki tape to rewind kar ke imagine karlo yaar). Suddenly an uncle, you are asked to show respect passes by, and asks, "Beta school jare ho?"

What you utter: “Ha uncle, aaj bahut late hogayi…” Uske baad aap phata phat bus main chad jate ho...

What your gut says: "Nahi uncle, film dekhne ja raha hoon. Mere paas do aur ticket hain. Agar aap chahate hain to main aap ko who de sakhta hoon!!! Kya hain ki, school main film par ek report ka assignment diya hain!!!"

Scene 2: You are freaking out with your friends at a theatre, to check out the recent flick. Suddenly you meet your ‘nursery alma-mater’, who asks you the most un-obvious question. "Arey thu bhi... Theatre main kya kar raha hai yaar?"

What you utter: "Yaar tumhe dekh ke bahut kushi hui yaar. Mere dost sabhi movie dekhne aaye to mai bhi unke saath company dene agaya."

What your gut says: "Aaj kal black ticket ka side business shuru kiyela apun ne. Pocket money ki bahut kami hai yaar. Kaho to tujhe bhi yeh naukri dila sakta hu. Apna resume mujhe forward karde F****R!!! Dus ka thees dus ka thees..."

Scene 3: You just finish your lunch/dinner at marriage ceremony of your friend. You sit beside your friend chatting about some chick who threw 'ek-khatilana-muskaan' at you. Tabhi ek aunty aapse pooch thi hain, "Beta kya tumne khana khaya?"

What you utter: "Ha aunty... Thanks for such a delicious treat!!!"

What your gut says: "Nahi aunty… aapko kya lagta hain? Main yahan plate saaf karne ke liye baitan hoon kya?" You flash your hand(s), to prove your point!!! You feel like smearing all the left over food from your friend's plate on to her face. Saala apun kho bhikari samajh thi hain... "Main doosri baar khana nahi mangoonga aunty, chinta math karo!!!"

Scene 4: It’s raining torrentially outside and you rush in to the house fully drenched with rain water, just like john Abraham in the song ‘Phaigaam laya sawan’ in ‘Lakheer’. You are searching for some warm clothes to change. Apke ghar waale apse pooch te hain, “Kya beta tum baarish main bheeg ke aarahe ho?” (Just like bollywood film main biwi questions her husband, “Aaj sharab peeke aaye ho kya?”)

What you utter: Bahar bahut baarish thi aur mere paas koi chatri bhi nahi thi. Isliye bheegna pada!!!

What your gut says: “Kya baat karte hain? Apne colony ke paas jo jheel hain, usme swimming karke bahut din hogaya the. Socha ek bar dive marke aau. Pata hain, maine swimming abhi boola nahi hoon. Dehke te raho main bhi ek din Ian Thorpe ki tarah Olympics main gold medal jeet ke laaonga!!!”

Scene 5: You are busy shopping at a shopping complex, when a friend of yours comes over to you and asks the most obvious question, "Kya yaar… Shopping ke liye ayete kya?"

What you utter: "Ha yaar.. kuch shopping-whopping karne nikla tha..." (With a smirk)

What your gut says: "Nahi yaar... Kya mazak karta hai kya. Raat to ko is shopping maal main dhaka dalne ka plan hai. Isliye ek baar security loop holes dekhne aya tha. Kisiko bolna math ha.. Saala main tereko shakal se badmash lakta hu kya?"

Scene 6: You are tired to the core after an exhaustive morning jog (in a track suit) and you are almost drenched with sweat (mehnat ki nishani).Tabhi ek uncle you know who passes by asks you, "Kya beta jogging karne ayata kya?"

What you utter: "Ha uncle, doctor ne bola hain ki jogging sehat ke liye acchi hain... to isliye maine bhi jogging chalu kiya.."

What your gut says: "Saale tumhe kya lagta hain? Subha subha maine koi ladki ko cheda, aura police mere peeche padi hain? Main kya pagal hu jo is tarah daud rahan hu?"

This is gotta be the dumbest question I have ever heard people ask.

Scene 7: Usually a dead body is taken in procession to the cremation place. Some follow the tradition of burning crackers in front of the procession. It’s all a part of their custom and ritual. Then someone on the way asks one of the followers in the procession, "Kya koi margaya hain kya?"

What you utter: "Kya kahe. Bahut accha aadmi tha. Humne socha nahi tha ki woh itna jaldi hum subko chod ke chala jayega..."

What your gut says: "Haram khor... Andhe ho kya? Dhikayi nahi deta kya? Tumhe kya lagta hain, yahan par koi film ki shooting chaalu hai?"

PS: I wouldn't blame anyone for asking such dumb questions. I'm sure you would have been at both ends on numerous occasions. It’s just that people try to be nice with you when you ask such questions and don't slash back!!! Par age se jabbi aap logo main se koi bhi aisi situation main ho, to please aise stupid questions math poocho? If you got some more questions like these, feel free to share with all of us. I would love to hear from you people.

~IT's My Life

Is my cell phone Hydrophilic?

I haven't been able to pen down anything substantial for the past 10 days or so. Arey kuch khaas nahi hai yaar. Pichle mahine ki telephone bill kuch zyada aaya to maine socha toda blogging kam karte hain... I haven't done anything constructive in these 10 days, apart from watching some real good movies...

Okies... enough of this blah blah... This post is all about my cell phone saga. It has been a real daunting experience with my cell phone. I am sure you will agree with me as u finish reading this post. Read on...

All this dates back to my visit to Nitte, for the VTU Uth Fest (9th Nov 2006). After the events on the 2nd day were over, we went to the kapu beach, near Nitte. All of us had some awesome time getting to the top of the light house over there. We then came down to take a nice little dip in to the sea and enjoy the site of a beautiful sunset. The excitement was so much that I almost forgot that I still carried my cell phone in the pocket. I got in to the sea along side many of my friends, and that’s when this whole episode began.

We made a nice little hurdle, and enjoyed the spattering sound of rhythmic sea waves kissing us at short intervals. Amidst all this masti, my cell phone also took a holy dip in to the Arabian Sea. With the sun taking leave off the horizon, my cell phone also took leave of its duties. Yep! My cell phone was damaged to the core! Damn it. Its bloody saline water folks! It will corrode the whole board if left unattended. To add to all this, was the incident that shifted the centre of gravity and every one’s attention away from my cell. Our cultural secretary was stung badly by a star fish (I don’t really know if it true).The sting was so bad that he was rendered unconscious. He was hurried to a local clinic. The moments of tension soon came to an end, when we were told that it was just a trivial issue, and he would recover soon. But my mind was still deluged with zillion doubts about the fate of my cell phone. It seemed as though I would have to lose my 'darling' once and for all... Two days in succession, my cell phone was left gasping for some serious ‘medication’, or in clear terms... it demanded some real good servicing.

I returned from Nitte after 2 days and the first thing on my to-do-list, was to get my cell phone repaired. I knew that I couldn't claim the service for free from Nokia care, bcoz I was pretty much aware of this particular clause in the user guide that came along with my handset. One such situation when the manufacturer's limited warranty coverage is void is, "If the product has been exposed to moisture, to dampness or to extreme thermal or environmental conditions or to rapid changes in such conditions, to corrosion, to oxidation, to spillage of food or liquid or influence from chemical products". So here I was, with a cell phone that truly was exposed to all such possible damaging environments, and which fully met the 'requirements' that could very well render a guarantee void!!!

It was then that I decided to turn to a service guy, who wasn't from Nokia care!!! I did get my cell repaired after 15 days of hassling! Thankfully it was working :) But the display was still flickering... The guy who got my cell repaired told me that, I should consider myself lucky if that display ever got stable. He asked me to use my cell phone as frequently as I could, so that the chances of my display getting stable increased. God knows, what the underlying theory behind it was? All I cared was about my cell getting back to normalcy! I followed his piece of advice and used my cell phone as frequently as I could.

I got serendipitous, when one fine morning I got up to find that my cell phone’s display had miraculously got stable. It was simply a spectacular sight to see it working the same way as before. Hurray!! I jumped all over the place and shared this happy news with all my friends. The guy’s theory had finally paid off!!

Lagta hai ki saaala maine kuch zyada hi masti karli!!! My cell is back to its early days after servicing. Its display is flickering again. After 4 months of faithful service after recovery, its fallen sick again. Damn it!!! It's so annoying to have your cell phone's display, play hide and seek with you. A few days back the entire display went off with everything else working fine. Now that isn't any fun u know. I used to get message alerts and all I could do was just try switching no/off my cell phone continuously, with an anticipation that it might show something remotely visible! My levels of frustration were at its zenith. I was being driven nuts! All I could do was to place or receive calls. I would have to attend a call without knowing who the caller was until I spoke to him/her. What was more agonizing, were some calls from Hutch's customer care (automated) that spoke about some promotional offers! You know, I used to get these calls in the middle of a class. When I used to receive them, all I could hear was some fucking female voice that would blabber some shit!!!

Having been traumatized by this whole episode, I was forced to talk to the same guy who had serviced my cell phone earlier. He had a good look at my cell phone and after a little ‘surgery’, told me that the cell phone had a problem with the charging line. It was trivial and could be fixed. He also gave me some free advice to sell my cell phone, once I get this problem fixed! Now his words of advice made me think a lot. I am wondering if it s time for me to get rid of my cell. The amount that he offered to buy that cell from me was quite reasonable. I am in utter dilemma, bcoz this whole flickering display stuff is taking a toll of my patience. I wanna get it fixed at the earliest, and also if possible wanna sell my cell phone off to him. To summarize my current state in one word, I am discombobulated!!! Somebody help me…

I forgot to jot down another incident when my cell phone was exposed to a few droplets of water in the bathroom! Hmmm…Thank god, the water wasn’t saline and neither was it too much in content to render my cell phone sick! I fixed the issue by exposing my ‘dissected’ cell phone to sunlight. I dunno if it seriously lacked a bit of Vitamin D. It somehow managed to get back in to action!!!

PS: I dunno if it’s some kinda senti stuff. I am very much attached to my cell phone. It's been my darling all these days (both good and bad). After 2 such episodes where it displayed strong affinity to water, I was just kinda wondering, is my cell phone really hydrophilic?

~IT's My Life

Hello THIS is customer care...

Statutory warning: The probability of you confronting with a similar situation, described below is unity if u are a Hutch user!!!

I finally am spilling out all the filth that I had suppressed within me, for the past 3 days. With exams round the corner, it was a wise decision. I have finally managed to pull some time off to key this issue and share with u all the unshared agony in mine.

It was a minute past 12:00 AM on 25th of DEC, 2006 ... I was busy messaging R, updating her abt the status of my exam preparation. The day had witnessed some ruthless messaging by me and naturally the free sms count was nearing zero. Unaware of an an unforeseen 'calamity', that stood hiding to strike my account balance really hard, I kept messsaging. As usual, I got the reports from hutch abt the prev call/msg details. Since it usually costs me .5 Re/- per msg after finishing my 100 sms quota per day, I paid little heeds to the post delivery report. But soon I realized that the reports were texted differently. There was something fishy about it!!!

There u are ... I checked my account balance, only to find that every message sent to any local network was costing me 1 Re/- I uttered, "What the hell?". Without any delay, I called up the Hutch customer care (I doubt if they really do care?), to enquire regarding such an unprecedented action. I really was fuming coz, my current balance wasn't really enticing. Finally after 10 mins of continuous attempts, my efforts paid off and I got connected to the Hutch customer care (or rather don't care...).

Here is exactly what the convo went like, with the customer care execute -u ....

CC: "Hello sir, this some 'XYZ', how may I assist u?".

Me: "I wanted to know why I am being charged Re 1/- for every message I sent from 12:00 AM onwards."

CC: "Sir, (watch his words) we have been directed by the TRAI, to bill every message sent to any local network on national holidays @ Re 1/- to avoid 'congestion'. So every message sent from ur cell to any local network, will cost you Re 1/-"

Me: Phew! (Hey wait.... I have heard of this word , 'congestion' in computer networks and I know something abt it...). I was very irritated and so continued to bug him. I said, "Well, in that that case the TRAI should have imposed the same regulation on other GSM/CDMA service providers as well, isn't it?"

CC: Yes sir, (quite confidently) its true. This billing applies on all the national holidays, to all the service providers from here on.

Me: "Okkk!" Though not fully convinced, I didn't have any other source to cross check the veracity of his claims.

CC: "Sir is there anything you would like to know?"

Me: I uttered, quite subtly, "No thats enough for the day!"

CC: With his stereotyped concluding statement, "Thanks for calling HUTCH ...." I literally disonnected the call, coz I knew I wouldn't have a gr8 day ahead !!!

Now to the investigation phase of it.

I did a bit of enquiry with all my friends, the next morning, who have subscribed to different service providers (That covers providers from 'karlo duniya mutthi main' to 'Aisi azadi aur kaha?'). I was really shocked to know that none of them had been billed (or rather bullied) as per the so called TRAI regulations!

Now thats so cheap! Mind you, u can't have employees @ Hutch customer care passing on this 'bad news' (which is nowhere close to truth) to all ur subscribers and fooling them all the way! I decided I had enough of it...

Now why I am so much worried abt? Is it suchha big crime to hike the billing on spcl occasions to aid smoothening of traffic? Is it not the 'real' way of providing customer care? Blah Blah....

Thats enough of a substantiation! I got a few questions to Hutch as well. Lemme c if they are liable to any satisfactory answer?

1. If they are so very concerned about customers, then they should have intimated to all their subscribers a priori, regarding such a change in billing, probably with a note for the reason to do so. They bug me with all sorts of crap messages abt contests and others. Why did they not do it similarly regarding the change?

2. Why was I lied about the TRAI's false regulations imposed on all service providers?

3. If their networks aren't able to handle the projected traffic on a given busy day, I say, "F**K off" with ur service, who the hell needs it? Call it off, its more of a trouble than a service!!!

4. If other subscribers india can give the desired service, on even the busiest days, without having to layoff or deviate from their billing norms considerably, why can't Hutch do it?

5. If Hutch is so customer centric, it should have ensured that its floating user traffic was well within congestion levels or atleast close to a good QOS, even on so called national holidays, when its most needed! (mostly to wish ur near and dear ones).

6. If Hutch customer care executives can mislead its subscribers so convincingly, the days are not far, when the customers will switch over to other service providers, who are on their toes to grab the pulse of the market!

With reports around that Hutch is on an offering and there are powerful bidders going for it, I just hope to get a better QOS in the future.

PS: My final take on this issue. A couple of days from now, the new year celebration will be in full swing (precisely after 12:00 AM, on Jan 1st). Now i just hope, I don't get the same crap reply from the CC, "Sir, its a National Holiday blah blah....!", after wishing my friend a happy new year!

Deciphering orkut scraps...

Disclaimer: The author owns the copy rights of this blog entry and it shall not be reproduced in any form whatsoever. Any resemblance, to any kind of orkuttian literarature in this blog entry, is purely co-incidental. The author, shall bear no responsibilty, whatsoever, for any kind of direct or indirect refrences to any orkut user (Online or Offline).

Off late orkutting seems to have smitten me for sure. I have been orkutting quite stupendously. So this naturally has helped me gain a bit of proficiency in orkuttian literature ! After a week long 'deep analysis' of various orkuttian profiles and known scrap book entries (nope, I haven't indulged in to any sort of fugitive work!). I proudly present before you my 'Winter Thesis' work on a very novel and emerging research area called 'Deciphering Orkut Scraps' (probably this might very well fetch you a nobel prize or something equivalent). I must confess that even though orkut scrap literature is pathetically stereotyped, at times one also finds a few really gud and off beat ones as well. I have off late been exposed (rather victimized) by suchhaa pain in the neck sort of orkuttian scraps! I have quoted below a few typical scraps from the orkut literature and their latent meanings. It's a small effort from my side to decipher the so called 'cryptographic orkut scraps'. Here we go...

1. Howz life out there? (or what's up @ ur end? or how r u doing?)

>> The most toughtest of all the questions. You are trapped! U open up a new conversation if u answer it or will get mercilessly bugged up, if u remain quite, with a zillion interrogative questions about why u didn't reply.

2. Nice to c u in orkut!

>> I am really amazed when ppl say this. what do people mean by this? Does it in any way, remotely mean, that I look nice only on orkut eh? (Like people check that column in their orkut profile regarding pets: Like them in zoos!)

3. R u online? (When u receive an instant scrap as reply from ur friend?)

>> The most dumbest of the questions one could send on orkut! I'm offline would u believe it? U know what, orkut allows users to send scraps being offline these days! (I have been tempted to say this on several occasions, but somehow out of modesty I have refrained from doing anything like that).

4. Keep in touch.

>> Well it has a plethora of subtle meanings. One of whose many meanings is as follows, I don't have anything much to scrap now! The ball is in your court, pass it back to me if your interested or let it die bouncing (in an exponentially decaying fashion) in ur court.

5. It's been pretty long since I scrapped u.

>> Well before you get too excited to answer this one, plz take some time off, to see his/her scrapbook. 9/10 times, this is used as a powerful tool to find a new source of scraps! It often ridicules me why people suddenly remember u when their scrap book entries dry up! Just chk on them.

6. C da this is ur first scrap! I am the first to scrap u!

>> Is it? Wow! I wouldn't have known about it, if not for ur timely acknowledgement, thnx. I mean, this crossess all limits of insanity! C'mon plz don't expect your friend to be so dumb!

7. Wow tum bhi orkut main? (I saw it in X's scrap book)

>> What does that mean ha? I know orkutting is legal, but c'mmon u can't humiliate me like that! I am not an outlaw!

8. Looking gud eh? whats cooking up dude?

>> Well thnx or wait.. what's me looking gud, has got to do with me cooking up something ha? @#$%%%? I dunno why ppl try to smoke out everyone's personal affairs unnecessarily in the public.

9. kya beta hai yaar... orkut pe..... koi special reason?

>> Yeah, don't let this go public. It shud be between us. I am working on CIA's new mission to track down offending users in orkut, who are trying to introduce some malacious traffic! C'mon every one knows why people join orkut. (If u still have doubts about it's objectivity, visit orkut's home page)

10. Keep scrapping!

>> I wonder if it's a request or an order. But in any case, u need to shower atleast a few scraps in to his/her scrap book!

PS: Well, my search continues for more of such weird stuff on orkut! Will post them as and when I find anything new. My new mission is to get to all (weird) types of about me: sections in profiles!

Weird and nuts!

I have off late been doing weird things! Certified by none other than my own heart! I have been:

1. I have been in to counting my scraps! I dunno it has some how enthralled me. Might sound outrageously flaunting, but it's true. (Really stupid!)

2. I have been in to some audacious and addictive blogging habits off late. Inspite of some statutory warnings from my friends, I have overridden them all! Just to sound as somebody rebellion or something, dunno...

3. I am also in to counting, how many times has my "Losedows" OS crashed, ever since i have joined engineering. It really sucks! U can have my word on that.

4. I just wonder how blogger gives such a wonderful service free of cost! Thnx to it, I have found a nice platform to express all my weird ramblings.

5. I wonder how long I will be able to blog and how long will ppl have to bear with me?

6. Orkut again! I am keenly in to counting how many friends are there in my list, and my friend's. Come on guys, I know one may say, "It's not the quantity, but the quality that matters!", but some how, not convinced!

7. I have been wondering if "Losedows" ever can think of a better way of developing an OS. When will ppl get freedom from those awry, stupid messages and warnings!

8. Would I surivive if I would be deprived of an internet access? I have fallen deeply in love with it, a very mellowish way to admit an obsession, isn't it?

9. I have been aimlessly sauntering in the world of WWWs. Dunno i just humm those lines from KANK, "Mera mann ye bata de tu, kis aur chala he tu... ".

10. Last but not the least, I wonder if all those elusive derivations and so called 'wonderful concepts' that have been stocked in to my brain, ever since I have joined engineering, will I ever be able to put them to use somewhere?

PS: Just dunno, why in these wee hours of the morning, I have been bloggging about silly things like these. Better rest my PC for a while and this web as well. I guess I have troubled my "Losedows" OS a lot, poor chap! I guess it can't handle it any more, already 'coughing', and showing some sure signs of a 'fever'!

Presence of mind

Take a look at this marvelous answer:

A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car. The mechanic shouted across the garage,"Hello Doctor! Please come over here for a minute."

The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work? " The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic .....

What did he say ???

Guess???
.
..
...
....

He said : "Try to do it when the engine is running".

~IT's My Life